Weight Loss

As you may know, I had twins last October.  My last month was very hard and I gained most of my pregnancy weight during that month. There was one week I gained 10lbs.  Can you believe it? I sure couldn't when I saw that big number on the scale. I gained 70lbs during the pregnancy.

I have never been fat but I have never been skinny either. Most of my life I was in the healthy range until I got married.  Once Sam and I planned our second round of IVF I asked the doctor what was under my control that I could do to increase our chances. He told me to try to lose 5% of my body weight. I did in 3 months and then I was back in the healthy weight range and I was really happy.

Two days after I delivered the twins I finally had enough strength on my legs to walk to the bathroom.  When I looked down I could not believe the size of my belly and how much skin was hanging. My sister brought me pants size 18 and they did not fit that day... I cried, a lot.

Like the majority of women, I was eager to drop it all off and forget it ever happened.  I was sad and sometimes post-partum depression would get in the mix and then it was a nightmare.

It's been almost 7 months since I had the boys.
I weigh a little less than I did before I lost the 5% pre-IVF. However, I have all the extra skin around my waist and it doesn't look the way it used to even when I was overweight.  I not only have extra skin but I have a ton of stretch mark... I mean, seriously, this (pic on the right) is how I was looking like the day I delivered the twins. I was stretched to the max. I was sad for a while. I was losing weight but at turtle speed and when I was really sad I stopped losing weight.

 But, things changed, inside me.

After a lot of introspection, a few months ago I realized that extra skin, stretch marks, being fat, who cares? I am worth no less. I am a mother who is loved by my babies and my husband. I mean, look at Sam's smile on this picture, does he look like he loves me any less? I don't think so and he's told me so.

The world tries to make women think that they have to have this perfect body, be able to get the clothes off of a mannequin and fit perfectly in them.  And then, only then, they are powerful women that can conquer the world.  I mean, seriously?! We have this whole magazine-pictures-being-manipulated campaign and young girls are asking what program they used instead of frowning on changing people to that extent (I know, major generalization but I have witnessed it happening, sadly).  My children will mimic how I think about my body and if I think that I'm worth something only if I look certain way, what kind of message am I teaching them?

That is why I stopped worrying about losing weight. I'm not on a diet, I eat everything and anything I want. Sometimes (more like most of the time) I don't even exercise. Yes, I do have time to exercise, but I use it to do other things that I think are more important.

All of this change in attitude I attribute to the gospel in my life.  Christ has atone for my sins, worries, sickness, sad feelings, etc etc.  He healed me inside and that's what makes me powerful and peaceful.  I am a happy Mormon woman. I know I am the daughter of a King. We are all of noble birth and that's what makes us invaluable not how we look or how our skin is tight around the waist... Happiness and contentment makes us pretty, our smiles brighter, our lives perfect, and our loved ones even more lovely.

What has been the result of all of this? I have lost weight, a lot of it... Are you baffled? I am whenever I step on the scale... I actually wonder why I still step on the scale, but I think I do it out of habit more than anything. I have dropped 10lbs without following any diet and exercising maybe once a week, if that.  All I do is eat like a Brazilian (which I am) and eat every 4 hrs (which I have always done).

I have been puzzled for a while as to why.  The math (calories out and calories in) really doesn't add up.  Then my friend tagged me to this video on Facebook.  It's called "The pace of modern life versus our cavewoman biochemistry" by Dr. Libby. She solved the puzzle for me, in a biological and mental way.

From what Dr. Libby says, I have lost weight because I have been pretty relaxed. I have been so content and happy with my life that I wouldn't change anything. Things don't stress me anymore. The boys have been on a routine and they follow it just fine. Consequently I have my routine too and I have been just fine. And most important of all, I have stopped criticizing my body and how I look vs. how I used to look.

Here is a little video of one of my favorite songs to go along with this post :) Perfect if there is something bothering you, whatever it is.